I Don’t Remember

Mordancage on silver gelatin prints

Looking back through family photo albums has always been a paradoxical experience for me. In some cases, these old photos fill me with nostalgia for the earlier years of my life, but so much of what I see are photos of experiences I have no recollection of. Though I’m lucky to have had such a well-documented childhood and witness my early years through the eyes of my parents and loved ones, I can’t help feeling a sense of disconnect from these images, even as the subject of many of them.  

Photography as a medium is regarded as the best way to document events and moments in time, but what use is it if the image taken does not reflect the memory I am left with? As a multimedia artist, I often find myself gravitating towards more ‘expressive’ ways of image-making, such as drawing or painting, to represent feelings or experiences that lack objective explanation. I started to wonder if I could make my photographic work appear as metaphysical as my memory.

In this series, I attempt to reclaim these moments and create new meaning for the photos, experiences, and versions of myself I feel I can no longer connect with. By transforming my digital images through experimental photographic methods, I allow them to blur and break apart, much like the memories they’re tied to. These distortions feel honest - closer to how I now make sense of those moments after losing so many years of them.